Why I will never be a true Malawian

- I flinch whenever anything moves. Even my hair

- I put on mosquito repellent every day

- I don't go to church on Sunday

- I only drink bottled water

- I can't walk around comfortably without holding onto my bag

- I'm too scared to cycle around

- I always try to be on time. When I commit to something, I try my best to accomplish it

- I still hate spiders (last week I was strongly advised to check for spiders before putting on my shoes. Since that day I've only worn flip flops)

- I'm a bit of an organised freak

- I love fish (it's rare to have it here)

- I check the bath over and over again before actually getting in it

- I can't eat nsima on a regular basis

- I don't believe in witchcraft

- I believe in gay rights

- I try to complete tasks at an average speed. Sometimes even faster than normal

- I respect pedestrians when driving. I try to avoid injuring them

- I still find it weird when I walk in the streets and people shout out "Nzungo! Nzungo!" That means "white person"
- I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I didn't have electricity from 6m-5am. Not even a light to read a book

- I don't hold hands with my friends when talking to them

The list is probably endless, these are just some of the things I thought of.